A Family

There are many times I catch myself daydreaming about growing up. Hoping about having a grown-up job, having a grown-up house, a grown-up outlook, and even a grown-up family. In my head, it seems perfect. I'll be a great cook, have fabulous hair everyday, and wake up every morning with my husband snoozing peacefully beside me (and maybe even a few kids squeezed in between).

Today was not one of those days. Today, I babysat.
And this happened. For an hour.

I had a great time with them Monday, and wouldn't even complain that today was too terrible. But boy! Was it exhausting! And I realize that as a mom, having kids of my own, this would be different. The kids would (hopefully) have some built in respect for me, (hopefully) be nicer to one another, and (hopefully) have an attention span greater than 10 minutes.

(Side Note, aka pure rant. Feel free to bypass: I found out that these kids are allowed to watch TV, but only when mommy or daddy is home. With babysitters, its simply not allowed. I guess as a parent this makes sense, you're not paying someone to sit your kids in front of a screen, but as a sitter all I was thinking was "Wayyyyyyyyyyy to make the morning hours harder." haha These two were zombies. And cranky zombies at that.)

There were many points in my day where I questioned, very seriously, whether or not I'd actually want to have kids or even if I'd make a good mother! Would I be able to balance kids, work, and life without exploding? I do suppose if I can handle PA school, I should be able to handle life.
What if I can't handle it though?

I suppose we shall see as time goes by! For right now, I want to stay in the present.